They set out to “provide a once-in-a-lifetime musical experience” in the Bahamas, but the organisers of The Fyre Festival – including rapper Ja Rule and entrepreneur Billy McFarland – have been left with an epic mess on their hands.

The lasting memories they had anticipated probably didn’t include chaos, a last minute cancellation and comparisons to The Lord of the Flies and The Hunger Games.

Although no reports of young people fighting to the death have emerged, attendees have complained of ‘luxury glamping’ facilities more akin to “disaster relief tents”, a wasteland of mud and rubbish, and – perhaps worst of all – bad sandwiches.

What was promised as a luxury event on the Islands of the Exumas, with packages ranging from $1,200 to $12,780, promising attendees the chance to brush arms with ‘influencers’ like Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski over two weekends from 28th April. Major Lazer and Ja Rule himself were set to perform.

The festival was also intended as a showcase for the entertainment booking Fyre App.

The first cracks began to show when concerns were raised over the infrastructure (or lack of) at the festival, with famous guests allegedly warned not to attend.

This came to a head on Thursday 27th of April when headliner Blink 182 pulled out, telling fans that they were “not confident” in Fyre’s infrastructure.

The reports of sub-standard conditions began rolling out over social media, resulting in the complete cancellation of the festival

The organisers claim to be focusing on to get all their guests home safely (although attendees have complained of being locked indoors without food or water). Fyre will apparent be postponed, presumably pending weather reports predicting sub-zero temperatures in hell.

Ja Rule bravely tweeted, “I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT…”

Fyre is not to be confused with The Frye Festival in New Brunswick, Canada, a literary event that has run annually since 2000 with no apparent breakdown of infrastructure or society.

We can also proudly confirm that no events organised through Headliner have ever been compared to a dystopia or ended with guests chained inside a room on a Caribbean building site.

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